Current Events & News Items & Jokes ⇒ Colin knows everyone.

[Ironman]

Colin was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Colin, how about Tom Cruise?"

Colin replied "Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."

So Colin and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, "Colin! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!”

Although impressed, Colin's boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Colin that he thinks that knowing Cruise was just lucky.

"No, no, just name anyone else," Colin says.

"OK. President Clinton," his boss retorts.

"Yup," Colin says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington."

At the White House, Clinton spots Colin on the tour, motions him and his boss over, saying, "Colin, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."

The boss is shaken, but still not totally convinced. Colin implores him to name anyone else.

"The Pope," his boss replies.

"Sure!" says Colin. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope a long time."

So off they fly to Rome.

Colin and his boss are assembled with the masses in St Peter's Square when Colin says,

"This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope."

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Colin emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Colin returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is lying on the ground surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss' side, Colin asks, "What happened?"

His boss looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man, a total stranger, next to me said: Who is that on the balcony with Colin?